Child Development

Another Great Reason Not To Spank

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A recent meta-analysis of various spanking studies done over the years concluded that children who were spanked, slapped, hit or on the receiving end of objects thrown at them (shudder), were more likely to engage in criminal and anti-social behaviors as adults. This included domestic violence, sexual violence and child abuse.

There was a ….”93 percent agreement among studies that spanking can lead to such problems as delinquent and anti-social behavior in childhood along with aggression, criminal and anti-social behavior and spousal or child abuse as an adult.

“There was a ….”93 percent agreement among studies that spanking can lead to such problems as delinquent and anti-social behavior in childhood along with aggression, criminal and anti-social behavior and spousal or child abuse as an adult.

The researchers suggested that children whose parents spanked, slapped, hit or threw objects at them may have a greater chance of physically or verbally coercing a sexual partner, engaging in risky sexual behavior or engaging in masochistic sex, including sexual arousal by spanking. The researchers warned, however, that this is not a one-to-one or causal relationship.”- Psychcentral.com

If you are a regular to our site, then odds are you are an attachment parenting type who does not need a lecture on why to avoid spanking. If you are visiting however, you may still subscribe to the “spare the rod” mentality. Positive discipline is actually less stressful for both the parents and the children. Not only is it in keeping with the basic golden rule but it also teaches children from the beginning that violence is not an answer to your relationship problems. It does not take a leap of logic to see how a child who is physically hurt by the ones they love will grow up to equate pain with love.

A common misconception of positive discipline and attachment parenting in general is that kids can do whatever they want to with no discipline or boundaries. The opposite is in fact true. The cornerstone of effective positive discipline is fast, swift and consistent boundaries no matter what your actual technique for dealing with the situation. The child learns that there is a consequence to their action from their first tantrum or act of defiance. That consequence may be a naughty chair or time out but they will learn that something happens every time they are naughty. They learn not to be naughty without being physically assaulted by the people who are supposed to be protecting them.

I should mention as a side note, that as a domestic violence survivor, I have to assume that most parent’s who abuse their spouses will also spank. Let me be clear in saying that I do not believe that all parents who spank also abuse their spouses but I do think the opposite is highly likely. Due to the fact that violence is a learned behavior and spousal abuse is often repeated by the witnessing children as adults, I have to see more than a simple correlation between spanking and adult violence. Perhaps it isn’t the spanking alone, but that children of spankers are more likely to live in a violent household in general. I still don’t believe in spanking or physically hurting the most helpless among us, but I think other conclusions could perhaps be drawn from the study.

For a great read, check out the Love and Logic series by Jim Fay. They are fantastic books offering real life advice and easy to follow examples that can get you started on a positive discipline path and regain control over your home even if your children are already teenagers. The books are highly recommended and they really work. Whatever you do, don’t hit your kid unless you really want to play roulette with his or her adult life.

More resources:

• Neverhitachild.org
• 10 Reasons not to hit your child
• The Anti-Spanking position

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