Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting & Babywearing

By naturalparenting ⋅  Email ⋅  Print ⋅

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to the Natural Parenting RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Babywearing is an expression of love and is one of the basics of attachment parenting. Coined by pediatrician William Sears, attachment parenting is a philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.

There’s a lot of technical words there. Let’s break down the paragraph neatly. This is what I see. Attachment parenting is a parenting style based on creating a loving, trusting, emotional relationship with our children.Dr. William Sears puts forth these eight ideals of attachment parenting:

• Preparation for Childbirth
• Emotional Responsiveness
• Breastfeed your Baby
• Babywearing
• Family Bed and Safe Sleeping Guidelines
• Avoid frequent and prolonged separations from your baby
• Positive Discipline
• Maintain balance in your family life

Babywearing is the focus of this article, so that’s what I would like to write about, in relationship to attachment parenting. I like setting the scene:

You have brought home your new baby, she’s beautiful, he’s handsome. You want to be the best parents in the world. No matter what, as long as you love and cherish your angel you will be. Your instincts tell you that this is the most important thing you have ever done, in your whole life. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed. Where is that book that teaches you how to be a parent, how to feed, bathe, hold, teach, discipline - ahhhhhhh!

Stop, sit back, you have one job right now. To create a bond between you and your baby that will last a life time. The bond you create now lays the foundation for the rest of your child’s life.

How does it feel to really trust someone? Your mom, spouse, sister, teacher. If you’re like me that doesn’t come along too often, but when it does it feels soooo good. To know someone only wants the best for you, really means it when they say “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

You go to bed at night with your spouse. You roll over and kiss, maybe cuddle for a while and fall asleep. At 2 am you wake up, alone in bed. It’s dark, silent. You reach over and feel nothing. It’s a little bit scary. Maybe you had a bad dream or something. But after a few seconds you can rationalize; he’s probably in the bathroom or getting a midnight snack. Babies cannot rationalize. That ability comes with age, experience, and trust.

Now imagine you are one week old. No concept of time or what that feeling in your diaper is, you don’t even know what a diaper is, or what in the world that thing hanging over your face in the crib is. All you do know and recognize is her voice, her smell, the taste of her milk. When she is there you breathe easier, sleep deeper, cry less, smile more. Just because infants don’t grasp all of this intellectually, it doesn’t make it any less real.

Babywearing makes it possible for you to keep baby physically close to you where she and you will be most content. When she falls asleep in the baby sling, close to your heart, your smell, your sound, and wakes up in that same spot able to quench her thirst without so much as a whimper, that develops trust. Now I’m not saying you have to wear your baby in a baby sling all day to be an attached parent - if you want to go for it, it’s actually really comfortable. What I am trying to imprint upon you is that trust is built at a young age, and wearing your baby, giving him that close physical connection even three hours a day is awesome. You will benefit so much too. You will learn baby’s cues quickly. And it feels so good to hold a sweet, content baby. And you can do it hands free with a baby sling.

As your child gets older babywearing remains an amazing attachment parenting tool. My Iris is two and the baby sling is still a source of comfort for her. When she wants that close contact with me she goes and finds a baby sling and brings it to me. I love it. Sometimes it’s just five minutes in the sling and then she’s off again. But she knows she can come back anytime!

Author: Emmy Bill
About the author: Emmy lives in Eau Claire, Wisconsin with her husband and two children, soon to be three! She is the owner and author of Babywearing Central, a website exploring babywearing around the world as well as classic parenting issues and babywearing as a tool for peaceful, healthy living. You can find her website at http://www.babywearingcentral.com.

Buy the: Original NoJo BabySling by Dr. Sears - Black Chambray

Image Source: http://flickr.com/photos/pengster/42287382/

Tags for this post